49 Days

49 days from now, I'll be married. As the day nears, I get more and more excited and - thankfully - much more relaxed. Now that I have all the big to-do's out of the way, I'm finally able to focus on the reason for the planning instead of freaking out about all the things I have left to do.

The invitations went out this week. When I dropped them off at the post office, it felt as though I left a couple bricks behind, too. My shoulders needed that.

We emailed our wedding website address to people, too, and the guestbook comments are beginning to flood in. Every time I go on to read them and the emails that follow, I feel loved and blessed to have so many people who support this marriage. In the early days of being engaged, I had dreams during which we arrived to our reception, only to discover barely anyone had bothered to show up. I know that mostly had to do with my panic of not being able to pick a date and begin planning, but still. I don't have those those dreams anymore...

Tomorrow morning, I will have my first wedding dress fitting. I have the shoes and the bra, and even though my stomach isn't as flat as I might like, I'm so excited to feel the alençon lace with my fingertips again, and watch as they pin the dress to my curves, making it all mine, mine, mine.

Tomorrow afternoon, I will attend my bridal shower. Roughly forty of my dear family members and friends will be there to witness me "oooh and ahhh" with each gift opened. The presents aren't the part I'm looking forward to most, though. I can't wait to see all of these women in one room together. These are the women who helped mold me into the women I am today - the one who fits so perfectly with the amazing man I'm about to marry. I wonder: if I hadn't known even one of those people, would I still be that person?...

And then, tomorrow night, we will continue the festivities at a hotel, where there is a mini bachelorette party/slumber party being thrown on my behalf. Since the real party will be in May in New York City (YAY!!), some of the people - my older sister/matron of honor, included - won't be able to attend. Therefore, they wanted to throw me a tamer version, of which I'm sure will turn at least a little wild later in the night. With me, it always does. ;o)

On the eve of these celebrations, I feel so completely happy and excited about this journey before me. I have a man who I love more than I thought possible, who loves me equally and passionately in return. I have dreams and hopes coming true, and even more in the making. With all of the whining I've done about all this wedding planning stress, it makes this stage of the process completely worth it.

In 49 days, I'll marry my best friend and lover, all rolled into one. How lucky am I?!