Friday, August 10, 2007

And here I thought I would finally be able to stop WORRYING about finding a date...

I've always been from the school of thought that once you've found that "one and only," you can assume you won't need to worry about dates anymore. Because really, who the hell wants to?? I certainly had my share of ones I wish I could expel from the record. Yet, now that I'm engaged and happy to be with just one man, I find myself going batty about a different kind of date:

The wedding date.

I'm still no closer to knowing when we can get married, based on the fact that Mark's brother is signed up for a tour of duty in Iraq (DAMN WAR). He was supposed to have been over there by now, but at the last minute they held them back and are keeping his unit at some base in Wisconsin. Which means that he can't spend time with his children or family, and also has little way of knowing when he will find himself back home for good.

We want Steve at the wedding. He's become very dear to me and he's Mark's best friend. I'd love to have him there as the Best Man. But when, pray tell, might that be an option?...

First answer: "Sometime in April."

And then yesterday, Steve heard a rumor that they might actually be back in the States for good as early as late July (as opposed to Christmas of 2008). But that's just a RUMOR, peoples. And if you think I'm going to plan my wedding around a rumor, you've clearly lost your damn minds. Which, of course, you HAVEN'T.

Anyone knows in order to plan - really plan - a wedding, you need to know the date or at the very least the general time of year the wedding will take place. It's the difference between having an outdoor wedding and an indoor one, using yellows & greens or reds & oranges as the color theme, and determines exactly what style white dress to look for. Since I have nary a clue of the "when," I have been driving myself nuts with waffling between a variety of very different themes and visions, and even with the "where" of this whole event. It's exhausting at best and defeating at worst. One should not want to cry when one is asked "When is the date?" I mean, I might be crazy, but this simple question shouldn't reduce a bride-to-be to teary responses of "I don't know....we have no clue...fuck if I know!" Right? Right.

If anyone has a good idea of how I can chill the eff out and relax (which will, at this point, keep me from running off with my groom and getting married while no one is looking), I would greatly appreciate it. What are the things I CAN be focusing on - aside from the fact that I'm lucky to actually have someone I want to marry (yeah, yeah, I know...) - in order to stop this emotional ride I've unwittingly found myself upon? What are the details I can enjoy planning now, despite not knowing the "when" of all this?

Help a girl out. It's been over a week since I looked at bridal magazines. I've been too angry at them. But I must admit I also sort of miss them, too.

DAMN WAR.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

There are a bunch of things you can do. You just can't order them or book them until you know the date, but you can decide upon all these things so that when the date IS decided, it's just a matter of a couple of phone calls.

1. Flowers -- what kind, how many, where, bouquets for you and your bridesmaids, etc...

2. Band -- go see bands playing at other weddings. Listen to their demo tapes. Determine what type of band you want, how long you want them to play (and when), get prices.

3. Location -- OK, so it's the indoor/outdoor thing, but if you check out a couple of scenarios, and decide on THIS one for indoor and THAT one for outdoor, your decision will be made when the date is set. Then it's just a phonecall.

4. Photographer and videographer -- check out portfolios, get prices, etc... Pick them. Then, it's just a phonecall telling them the date.

5. Food -- Check out caterers (or the caterer of the indoor/outdoor locations) and go through the menu options. Do the taste tests. Enjoy it!

Y'know, all those "little" things that are stressful to do when time is NOT on your side. This is a GREAT opportunity for you -- you have the time to investigate, think, and decide, without having the pressure of having to do it all RIGHT NOW, when there are other things to do.

Amy, this is all going to work out. You know it will. Use this time to your advantage. So when the date is picked, people will be so amazed by you just having to make a dozen phonecalls and having the wedding set with food, location, band, flowers, etc...

DAMN WAR is right. But SWEET WEDDING after.

AmyD said...

Dawn, you're the best!! I read through all of these, and at first I was all, "Uh uh, I can't do those either!" and by the end of your comment, I felt at ease and closer to thinking I can, indeed, begin preparing and kicking ass with the planning. Thanks!! :o) I certainly hope you're right... Ha!

shayze said...

Since I've never been married, I have no clue what to say, but Dawn had some awesome suggestions there!

Sorry you're having to go through this (damn war is right) all because of our stupid president! Hopefully, CL's brother will be home soon!!

Me said...

He can get leave, you know....I know a ton of people who came back to attend a wedding on leave.

However, "leave"means it can get cancelled..but so can a redeployment (when they come home). My wasband was gone once for 12 months and I was getting my hair done to greet him in a few days and he called and said "oops, another 3 months darling"...so, i would just talk to him and try to pick a reasonable date that he could get leave on....maybe...but that's just me...sigh. damn military.