It's been too long since I've written here and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry mostly because that means I haven't really done much by way of wedding planning. Keeping with tradition, I've been a pretty lousy bride-to-be; this is NOT coming naturally for me! I'm ok with this, knowing I will be much more attune to the 'being a good wife' part, but in the meantime I'm slightly disgusted with myself.
I've been pretty judgmental about this whole process. When I log onto The Knot and read the local chatboards for suggestions, I start twitching. Have you been on this site? I honestly worry that some of those aching-for-a-wedding women don't realize that once this big 'to-do' is over? They will be MARRIED. Like, for better or worse. It's just...typical. So yes, I judge a little. While I sometimes wish this wedding planning game was more fun for me to play, I'm also happy knowing that part of the reason why Mark wants to marry ME and not someone else is because I don't live for this.
Last night we met with our friend* who is designing our wedding invitations. When she asked us what we were looking for, I went off on a tangent:
"I want none of that ivory on ivory crap. And you can forget the 'flimsy-flamsy' tissue paper between the pages, too. I mean, what IS that? Am I supposed to use it to blot my greasy forehead? Oh, thanks, I'll be sure to bring it to your wedding so I'm suitable for impromptu photos!"
Really, people. Do I have to be so...crude? *sigh*
When I got a call back yesterday from the guy at a DJ company I was considering, I almost laughed out loud at his suggestions. He was so excited to tell me about their bubble machine (he actually referred to this as "The Bubble Experience") and FOG machine! And how they can bring in plasma TV's - plural - so videos of the songs can be played all night long! And let us not forget the "Confetti Hand Streamers" for the perfect "Grand Entrance!" I finally cut him off and politely asked, "Uh...how much would it cost for you to JUST PLAY MUSIC for 6 hours?" BLECH.
On a brighter note, we meet with a florist today and so far I want to be her new best friend. She's so talented - she's even worked with the (Bill) Clinton campaign. She also happens to be in the midst of planning her own wedding, so she's completely in tune with what I'm going through. She admitted she's been doing event planning for 12 years, but is having a really tough time planning her own affair. I felt so much better hearing that for some reason. I guess we really are our own worst enemy...
*During our invitation meeting when our friend went to the bathroom, Mark and I actually had a conversation about eloping. I was all, "So what if we lose $1,800 in deposits? Let's run away and be married far away from all this planning B.S.! And he got a big grin on his face and jokingly said, "OK!!" We are freaking hilarious. Except for...I kinda wasn't kidding. *blush*
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What worked for me was this: getting into the "Whatever" frame of mind. Yes, you're right, there are no do-overs. But, fact is, no matter what goes wrong, your people will be there and you'll all be having a great time (despite what may have gone wrong) because you'll all be together. And you and Mark will be MARRIED.
Try not to stress over things. Let it flow, let it flow. If there's a fuck-up, go with it.
When, at the end of the day, you and Mark are married, and the people who you love were there to share that with you, it was a grand success.
This advice is from someone who is totally OCD and a perfectionist, so I know where you're coming from. You just need to get into a better place... for your sanity.
LOVE.
Two words:
WEDDING
PLANNER
GET ONE.
Pronto.
Yeah, I admit I'm a little too judgy about that stuff, too. When I was sitting in David's Bridal I watched the girls around me who were all there with an enormous entourage of bridesmaids and were all perky and concerned about things that don't actually matter and I was baffled that THIS is the norm. People like you and me who are more concerned with the fact that when it's all over we get to be MARRIED to the man (men? I've got my grammar all confused) we love...yeah, we aren't the norm. So bizarre.
Not that I even know what getting married is all about, but it has never been something that I get all giddy over. I could give a crap about the ceremony. All I really want is me and my man and a few close friends, because in the end it's about us and not the stupid money wasting party. Ok, I'm sorry that was kind of rude. :-)
You're right...and I think for those that get all crazed about the wedding details...well sometimes it's easy to forget that you are marrying the man of your dreams...and worry less on the small(er) things...*sigh* what do you do?
I can't help...my ideas are all lame in comparision to what girls do now a day! :-)
1) Get a wedding planner.
2) "I want none of that ivory on ivory crap. And you can forget the 'flimsy-flamsy' tissue paper between the pages, too. I mean, what IS that? Am I supposed to use it to blot my greasy forehead? Oh, thanks, I'll be sure to bring it to your wedding so I'm suitable for impromptu photos!"
that was awesome. it was like me...coming out of your mouth. i'm so proud.
I hope I get to have a wedding someday, but if/when I do--oh my I won't be going in for the Bubble Experience or any of that. I want my man, my loved ones, and a beautiful dress on the beach. End of story. lol
I am SO eloping!
You make me smile. Even in your wedding stress, you are still fucking hilarious. The invitation rant = BRILLIANT.
And I would have paid to hear the conversation with the DJ. Bubbles? FOG?? What the f.
Wow! So much great stuff for me to look forward to! ;)
I am almost afraid to check out the Knot because the thought of it literally gives me a "knot" in my stomach!
Eloping has already crossed my mind at least 10 times in the past week. This planning stuff sucks BUT you are totally right: You're going to rock at being a wife. And that's what really matters in the end.
Ditto to all! I can't believe I am even having a fancy wedding at all! But... I am letting my mother do the freakout (one of the advantages of doing the wedding in my hometown not my current place of residence!). For some reason she wants different seat covers, napkin rings, decorations other than simple flowers and I just tell her to run things by me. I couldn't care less about that!!
As for the invitations... sigh, I gave in and went with what others thought I should do (ie: more or less match the invitations with the wedding style/colour. ), so I ended up with a more traditional invitation, less funky than i would have wanted but, hell, I'm not receiving them!! It just didn't matter in the end.
Throw yourself into the things that DO matter-- music, your attire, whatever seems most important to spend time and money on. The rest will all be a blur to you anyway....
And whatever you do ---- DO NOT RENOVATE your house in the next few months. DO NOT!!!
woo, girl I was just there a few months ago. Some things are worth holding your ground about, and some simply aren't. Now that it's all over, my best memory is looking around the room at everyone having so much fun. GOOD LUCK, but most importantly -- enjoy.
Wow, I am so glad that I didn't go through all of that. We decided to get married and then did it one month later. My mom and I met with a dress designer, mom sewed my dress. Florist, one meeting, done. Cake, one meeting, done. Food, decided on menu in like 5 minutes, done. Decorating was done the night before by family and friends and the lovely florist. I hand wrote my invitations in a couple of evenings and delivered them. Out of town guests got a phone call.
It was all quick and simple and all of our friends said it was the most relaxed and fun wedding they had ever been to. With only one stressful month. My mom was a flippin' Godsend.
I totally recommend a planner though. Or elopement, fun!
the knot is driving me insane too. there is so much there that i just don't care about AT ALL. we picked invitations from michael's to make ourselves in about 10 minutes; i was like yeah, those are fine, let's get 'em. 'cause really, people look at it for the date and location and then either throw it away or stuff it in a box.
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